Relationship experts break down what couples should pay attention to as they explore new destinations together.
Taking a trip with your significant other marks a big step in your dating journey. There’s a reason some people call it “the ultimate relationship test.”
“Traveling with a partner can reveal a lot about their personality, habits, and even the dynamics of your relationship in ways that might not surface in daily life,” said Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institute. “It can serve as a microcosm for your relationship, highlighting strengths, potential challenges and areas for growth.”
You can learn a lot about your partner’s values and how they behave in different circumstances when you experience a change of scenery together. That’s why it’s important to be mindful and view each trip as an opportunity to work through issues and grow closer as a couple.
Below, Needle and other relationship experts share 11 important lessons you can learn through traveling with your partner.
How You Communicate
“Traveling together intensifies the need for clear communication,” Needle said. “You’ll discover how well your partner communicates their needs and desires, whether they’re open and direct or more passive. Travel can highlight communication gaps that you might not notice at home, giving you the opportunity to work on better expressing yourselves.”
A common mistake couples make when traveling together is failing to communicate and manage expectations. Often, both partners might assume that the other automatically knows their likes, dislikes or travel goals, especially if they’ve been together for a while.
“People have different ways of expressing themselves which can result in misunderstandings where one person believes they’ve communicated clearly, but the other doesn’t pick up on their cues or subtle hints,” Needle said. “Many expectations are based on personal habits, upbringing, or past experiences, and partners may not even be aware of their own assumptions.”
Learning how to communicate and agree on your vacation can bring you closer and “foretell how you as a couple will handle decision-making in the future,” Needle added.
How You Problem-Solve Together
“Travel often involves unexpected challenges ― delays, missed connections, or navigating unfamiliar places,” Needle noted. “Seeing how your partner deals with these stressors can reveal their problem-solving skills, patience and adaptability.”
By traveling together, you can learn if your partner stays calm under pressure or becomes anxious or frustrated, which may help you understand how they might handle future challenges in life. Your partner doesn’t have to react perfectly, but you do need to know that you can work together to solve problems.
“Ultimately, it’s important to check in with each other and be direct to process a challenge as it arises instead of brushing it under the rug,” said clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff.
How You Share Responsibilities
“Planning a trip involves many tasks like booking flights, arranging accommodations and researching activities,” Needle said. “You’ll learn how your partner approaches sharing responsibilities, whether they prefer to collaborate or take on certain roles.”
She noted that this insight can reveal how they approach other shared responsibilities, like household chores. You might learn whether you can share or divide tasks in a way that makes sense and doesn’t cause resentment.
“Often one person relishes the planning of a trip, sorting out tickets, opening hours and itineraries,” said counselor and hypnotherapist Susan Leigh.
If this is the case in your relationship, you still want to make sure there are other ways your partner can contribute to the travel process.
Differences In Spending Habits
Traveling with your significant other can also highlight similarities and differences in your spending habits.
“You may learn whether your partner is a saver or a spender, how they prioritize budgeting, and what they value when it comes to experiences or material comforts,” Needle said. “This can reveal deeper financial compatibility, especially when it comes to future planning.”
If you aren’t on the same page, don’t despair.
“Expenses can be tricky, especially if one has rather more disposable income available,” Leigh said. “If they’re happy to pay more in order to include the things they want to do, discuss in advance ways to make this work respectfully.”
Your Preferred Speeds On Vacation
“Some people prefer to relax on vacation, while others thrive on action-packed itineraries,” Needle said. “Travel reveals how your partner takes care of themselves in different environments ― whether they prioritize rest and rejuvenation or seek constant activity. One partner might want to stick to a strict itinerary, while the other prefers spontaneity, leading to frustration if it’s not addressed beforehand.”
She emphasized the importance of understanding your differences and talking about them ahead of time, which “can help you balance your own needs and find harmony in shared experiences.” Avoid tension by considering each partner’s preferences.
“Enjoy the early planning stage when you’re deciding where to go and what to do,” Leigh advised. “That’s the time to say if you want relaxed, doing nothing time, or to raise the issue of paying a little more, avoiding stopovers and being able to spend more time at the destination.”
If one partner has taken the lead in planning the trip, it’s essential to consider the other’s travel personality while building the itinerary.
“Do they get cranky when they don’t eat regularly?” asked Katie Hevia, a couples therapist at Millennial Life Counseling. “Do they tend to need breaks throughout long, activity-heavy days? A person’s needs in the comfort of their home base are usually even more essential while traveling. Try to anticipate these needs and plan for it throughout the trip so that it can feel fun for both partners, rather than fun for one and draining on the other.”
How You Handle Decision-Making
“Travel also requires constant decision-making, from choosing restaurants to planning activities,” Needle said. “You’ll get a sense of whether your partner prefers to take charge or go with the flow, how they weigh options and whether they’re open to input.”
While some people are very decisive, others might struggle when presented with too many choices. A long-term relationship will inevitably involve lots of important decisions, so travel can offer some insight into how you might approach those together.
How You Manage Conflict
“Travel can lead to tense moments or disagreements, providing a glimpse into how your partner manages conflict,” Needle said. “Do they address issues head-on, or do they avoid confrontation? Are they good at resolving disagreements calmly, or do they tend to escalate?”
By navigating conflict while you travel together, you can learn valuable lessons about how you two might manage disputes and moments of friction in the future.
Your Relative Openness To Adventure
“Travel shows whether your partner is open to new experiences, eager to explore, or prefers familiar comforts,” Needle said. “Their willingness to try new foods, activities, or engage with different cultures can give you insight into their sense of curiosity and adventure, which may indicate how willing they are to embrace change or spontaneity in other areas of life.”
You might also learn about your partner’s openness to new social experiences while traveling and how much time they prefer to spend socializing.
“You can learn whether they enjoy meeting new people, chatting with locals, or prefer more private, one-on-one time,” Needle said. “This insight can help you better understand their social needs and how they might balance socializing with alone time in your everyday life.”
Your Deeper Travel Values
“The choices your partner makes while traveling ― whether it’s where to stay, what to do, or how to spend time ― can reveal their deeper values,” Needle said. “For example, some might prioritize cultural experiences and learning, while others focus on relaxation or adventure.”
She emphasized that these priorities can reflect larger life values like curiosity, self-care or personal growth. Understanding where you both stand will also help you make decisions together.
“It is important to have these conversations so both partners can be on the same page in terms of expectations for the trip to ensure they share aligned values and goals,” Romanoff said.
How You Compromise
“Travel involves compromise, as not every activity or destination will appeal equally to all partners,” Needle said.
As you plan your trip or even make on-the-fly decisions over the course of your travels, you can learn how rigid your partner is in their preferences. Differences are inevitable, but reaching a middle ground takes work.
“This is a time for getting to know each other better, and seeing how ready they are to be flexible and compromise can be an interesting revelation,” Leigh said.
How You Adapt To Disruption In Routines
“Traveling often disrupts routines, and you’ll see how your partner adapts,” Needle said.
As noted, some people enjoy being spontaneous, but others thrive on a schedule. Find out how your partner does without their usual mealtime schedule, for instance.
“This can teach you about their comfort with flexibility,” Needle said, “and how adaptable they are to changes in plans, which can impact how you navigate life changes together.”
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