8 Things Parents Of Kids With Learning Disabilities Need To Understand

We want to believe that grades are simply a product of motivation and effort ― that if a child truly wants to do well in school and works hard enough, they can make those As appear.

But what if a child is truly trying as hard as they can and still can’t keep up? Learning disabilities and related conditions that affect academic performance are common: One in every five children is diagnosed with a learning disability or ADHD. Yet many of these kids aren’t identified and given the support they need. Only 1 in 16 public school students has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) for a learning disability or “other health impairment” (as ADHD is frequently categorized).

For kids with learning disabilities like dyslexia, which affects reading abilities, and dyscalculia, which impacts the ability to do math, school can become a site of frustration and shame.

Research shows that learning disabilities, also called learning disorders, are neurological differences. Kids’ brains are “wired” differently, and their struggles in school aren’t a result of a lack of effort or emotional issues. They can’t just “try harder” or “get over it” — they need skilled special educators to teach them how to work with (and sometimes around) their disabilities to grasp the material being taught.

There are a lot of neural processes involved in learning any new skill — a difference in any one of them can alter the way a child learns.

“There is significant evidence that the learning difficulties experienced by individuals with learning disabilities are the result of impairments in specific cognitive abilities such as working memory, phonological processing, processing speed and other cognitive processes involved in learning,” Monica McHale-Small, director of education for the Learning Disabilities Association of America (LDA), told HuffPost.

Andrew Kahn, associate director of behavior change and expertise at Understood.org, added that these cognitive differences impact learning by affecting “the person’s ability to take in new information and then organize, remember, and execute tasks with that data.”

When a child has a learning disability, regular classroom instructional techniques likely won’t be enough for them to keep up. Teachers will need to understand their disability to find ways to be successful at school, and you will need to become your child’s advocate.

HuffPost spoke with a couple of experts about other things that parents of kids with learning disabilities need to know:

Having a learning disability doesn’t mean a child isn’t smart.

Learning disabilities are separate from intellectual disabilities. To qualify for a diagnosis of a learning disability, a child needs to show average (or above average) intelligence. While a child with an intellectual disability will usually have delays in milestones such as walking and talking, a child with a learning disability likely won’t show any signs before they begin to struggle with reading or math in the early elementary grades.

“While learning disabilities may be mild or more severe, they don’t globally impact a person’s ability to develop skills for daily living and independence,” Kahn said.

“The most common initial sign of a learning disability is when a child struggles with learning in a way that seems inconsistent with their intellect,” he continued. “Parents may initially feel that their child isn’t trying hard enough or is being avoidant due to limited interest.”

However, children are usually well aware of areas where they don’t measure up. “When working with parents and teachers, I often remind them that
children judge their own intelligence and worth by comparing their academic skills to those of their peers,” McHale-Small said.

These feelings can develop into a more serious issue. “Children with learning disabilities who don’t have enough support are more likely to develop mental health concerns like anxiety and depression,” Kahn explained.

Because there can be so much focus on what they’re not able to do, or at least to do easily, it’s important to highlight kids’ strengths and to teach them that everyone has their own unique mix of things that come naturally to them and things that are more challenging.

Parents should also understand that a child can be academically gifted and have learning disabilities at the same time. These children are sometimes referred to as “twice exceptional,” and while in some areas they require extra support, they need to be challenged in others.

There are different types of learning disabilities.

“Dyslexia is probably the most well-known learning disability, and there is some data that it may be the most common,” said McHale-Small, who noted that this could also be because “dyslexia has received more attention from researchers and educators.”

Dyslexia impacts a child’s ability to read and spell. Other learning disabilities include dyscalculia, which makes math-related tasks difficult, and dysgraphia, which impairs a child’s ability to form letters and write.

Some providers also use the term “nonverbal learning disabilities … to describe individuals who struggle with visual-spatial and motor skills who often have struggles with interpreting social cues,” McHale-Small said.

It is not unusual for a child to have more than one type of learning disability.

Regarding what your child feels, “Having a learning disability can be a frustrating and confusing experience for children, particularly when they’re accustomed to feeling capable in other areas of their life,” Kahn said.

To learn more about what it feels like for your child to move through their school day with a learning disability, parents can check out these videos from Understood.org and the Nonverbal Learning Disability Project.

Learning disabilities can be hereditary.

If you or your spouse have ever been diagnosed with a learning disability, your child may be, too. Make sure you mention this family history to providers such as doctors and psychologists.

Other conditions can cause similar issues, so it’s important to rule those out.

There are many reasons for a child to struggle in school, including hearing problems, vision problems, emotional issues such as anxiety and other neurological issues like ADHD. In some cases, the cause is just poor classroom instruction, and support given to teachers can help address the problem.

“Diagnosis with a learning disability requires that these other conditions be ruled out as the primary cause of the learning difficulties the child is experiencing,” McHale-Small said.

It’s common to have learning disabilities and ADHD.

While it’s important for the professional evaluating your child to rule out other conditions that could be causing their struggle, note that many children with ADHD also have learning disabilities.

“Researchers estimate that anywhere from 20 to 60% of individuals with ADHD also have a learning disability,” McHale-Small said.

A skilled evaluator will be able “to determine if a student’s challenges are the result of ADHD, a learning disability or ADHD plus a learning disability,” Kahn noted.

You have the right to request an evaluation for your child if you suspect a learning disability.

If you suspect that your child has a learning disability, you have the right to request a professional evaluation from your child’s school.

“A parent may request an evaluation for learning challenges at any time. Once approved, the evaluation will be provided at no cost and must be completed
within a time frame determined by law,” Kahn said.

If you disagree with the conclusions of this evaluation, you can request an independent educational evaluation (completed by someone outside the school district.) You can also pay a private provider to evaluate your child. While the school district must consider a private evaluation, they are not required to implement its recommendations, and practices between school districts vary.

Your child has the right to a free, appropriate public education.

Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), children with disabilities — including learning disabilities — have the right to a free, appropriate public education.

“The ultimate goal of the law is to help children with disabilities access the required curriculum, with instruction that accommodates their unique learning needs,” Kahn said.

Depending on your child’s diagnosis, they will have an IEP or a 504 plan. Both types of plans describe what the school will do to help the child learn. There are stricter requirements for what an IEP must include, whereas the rules are looser for a 504. The main difference between the two types of plans is the type of conditions they cover. Learning disabilities are usually covered by an IEP, and ADHD with a 504. In some cases, a student’s diagnosis may make them eligible for a 504 but not an IEP.

In either case, the plan, created with input from you, your child’s teacher and other professionals, will spell out the services and accommodations that your child is entitled to, which may include specially designed instruction, small group instruction, extended time on tests, preferential seating, movement breaks, use of assistive technology (such as a calculator or computer), individual or group counseling and speech, physical or occupational therapy.

An IEP will also describe their current performance (such as their reading level), strengths, weaknesses and goals. You have the right to be present at annual IEP meetings, which allow you to advocate for your child.

“While these meetings can be intimidating and overwhelming for parents, it is important that they participate,” McHale-Small said. She recommended bringing a support person with you to take notes and address your concerns.

If your child has a 504 plan, the school is not required to invite you to the annual meeting, but most schools will be happy to have you attend. Ask early in the year to be invited so you don’t miss it.

With the right support, learning disabilities won’t limit kids’ options.

“An important thing for parents to always remember is that children with learning disabilities are very capable, and with the right supports, they can achieve educational and life success,” said McHale-Small, who identifies as the parent of two successful adults with learning disabilities and ADHD.

Kahn recommended that at the end of each school year, you ask your child’s teacher “to share what strategies they found most helpful for their child — and what they wish they’d known ahead of time.” It can be helpful to have this information to share at IEP or 504 meetings and with future teachers.