To thousands of fathers, father’s day came with pride and prestige as many of them celebrated the day with their children. However a group of men has constantly been paranoid in facing this day, with many retreating to lonely places sinking into depression wishing away a day that once every year adds salt to their wounded hearts.
These are men who wake up one day to find everything they lived for gone. Everything, including their children and despite their efforts to regain touch with them, they end up hitting a dead end. They describe themselves as absent fathers, willing to be active ones but they cannot.
What happens when men are deliberately cut out of their children’s lives? When these men want to care for their offspring, but their love unwanted?
In a 30-minute feature that aired on KTN News on Monday night, disgruntled fathers narrated how they were cut off their children’s lives.
Dennis Mwangi from Nakuru attempted suicide twice after his family fell apart and he couldn’t get access to his children.
“I have attempted to commit suicide twice, but luckily, I survived. I had a picture of my son in my house and I’d look at it sometimes and cry,” said Dennis who claims that those moments where the lowest in his life.
One John Mwang is a father of two boys. Although he pays for his sons’ school fees and upkeep, he is a father in pain.
“The only memory I have of my kids are their clothes and toys which are still in the house we used to live in, it really pains me that I can no longer see them,” said Mwangi.
Although there were differences between John and his then wife, the children’s office in Thika directed that the children should never lack.
Mother and father were contented, but according to Mwangi, this was never to be.
“I was arrested and detained on accusations of kidnapping my own kids, but here was there mother, who did not honor her side of the ruling,” said Mwangi who claims that his children’s mother has denied him access to his children.
For Robert Muigana, it is a case of same script, different cast. The online taxi operator who separated from his spouse with whom they had sired a son is a depressd man. Although he re-married and has another son, Robert feels empty inside and claims to be mourning the loss of a son who is alive.
“At one point, I felt too empty. Too empty to keep on living; I even contemplated suicide,” said Robert who said he has no idea where his son and estranged wife are.
Mburu Muruthi’s case is a story of pain and rejection.
Just like Robert, Mburu does not know where his children currently are, but that’s not all, the 30-year-old photographer discovered what seems like a heinous conspiracy. One that shook him to the core.
According to Mburu, the urge for a special attachment with his daughter is what led him to sneak into his daughter’s school to see her, albeit for only 5 minutes. He says that this was the only place he could look at his daughter again, school was the only place that he could be acknowledged as a father.
Mburu goes on to explain how he has marked every important date concerning his daughter’s life on his calendar, complete with alarm notifications. He simply cannot imagine missing the milestones in his daughter’s life.
The agony and bitterness of losing a loved one are emotions that Mburu has all borne. As if not enough lemons that life could serve him, Mburu has not only lost his children, but he too, grew up without a father. He met him for the first time only 7 months ago.
In so many cases when parents separate, the children especially those under the age of 18 are left under the custody of their mothers unless there are compelling reasons not to. This is a widely accepted norm but there are some differences in cultures.
“In the Muslim community, fathers are compelled to take responsibility, however, there are strict measures that protect either parent from alienation, which often times occur when a child is fed negative information about one of the parents,” said Sheikh Abdullatif Sheikh of the Family Resource Center in Nairobi’s Jamia mosque when he was asked how matters pertaining parental alienation are handled in Islam.
Parental alienation has adverse effects not only on the alienated parent, but also the children, experts say it is vital for a child to have both mother and father as part of their growth, challenges such as identity crisis and self-esteem have been linked to cases of alienation.
Credit: Source link