The Most Constructive Way To Tell Someone They Messed Up

How to tell your co-worker that they made a mistake at work.You can address a colleague’s mistake without making it combative or awkward.

It’s inevitable that, at some point, someone you work with will make a big mistake. Do you point it out to them or not?

Sometimes it’s easier to look the other way and avoid an awkward conversation. But you may only be costing your team more work down the line if you keep ignoring someone’s errors. And especially if you’re their manager, you don’t want to save your criticisms for an annual performance review.

“A key difference between a good manager and a great manager is their ability to provide constructive feedback that helps their employees grow and succeed. Is it uncomfortable to call out mistakes? Absolutely! But think about the disservice you’re doing to your team if you don’t help them learn and improve,” said career coach Becca Carnahan. “You’d be stagnating their growth, and no one wants that.“

Ideally, in any situation, you want your co-worker to learn what they did wrong shortly after they make a mistake so that it doesn’t happen again, but you also want to deliver guidance in a way that preserves your relationship with them. Here’s how to do both:

1. Don’t bring up the mistake when you feel angry or frustrated. But don’t avoid the conversation forever.

When your emotions are running high, you are not in the best headspace to talk professionally about the mistake. Take a deep breath.

Put things into perspective so that you can have the discussion in a better mood, said Andres Lares, managing partner at Shapiro Negotiations Institute.

“Remember, we all make mistakes and move forward,” he said. “If it helps, prior to the meeting, do some activities you enjoy, e.g., listening to music or going for a brief walk, to get in a positive frame of mind.”

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