Maybe the most useful advice I ever received came from my dad when I went away to college.
“When you are feeling lonely, sad, overwhelmed or unmotivated, just put on your sneakers. You don’t have to put pressure on what you do next,” he told me. “But once your shoes are on, you might find yourself at the gym, on a walk to see friends or doing the laundry that’s been piling up.”
It almost always works. Putting on my shoes pushes me out of a slump and removes a barrier between me and action I know will help me feel better.
It turns out my dad is right, said Dr. Barbara Greenberg, a clinical psychologist in Weston, Connecticut.
“There’s actually research on the relationship between getting dressed and becoming more motivated,” she said. “When you get dressed, you feel more confident, and then because you feel more confident, you become more motivated.”
If you are looking to get more exercise, spend time with friends more regularly or even just get out of a rut, one small thing you should try is to wake up and put on your shoes.
Stepping into a new version of yourself
Why would putting on a pair of shoes make any difference in how you feel? The costume you wear tells you what character you are playing.
“When you put on your shoes and other clothing,” Greenberg said, “you’re actually, literally stepping into a new role or a new version of yourself.”
Sweatpants and slippers give your brain and body the cue to relax, she said. But a well-fitting suit may indicate that it’s time to get down to business, said Marissa Nelson, a Washington, DC-based marriage and family therapist.
“It’s called enclothed cognition,” Nelson said. “It really is just saying that basically what you wear absolutely affects your mood.”
The behavioral effect is why some schools have students wear uniforms, Nelson said. The idea is that the uniform influences a person’s seriousness, focus and preparation for learning.
The items that give you the message that it’s time to get out of a rut don’t have to be sneakers—and they can be different every day, Nelson said.
Maybe you need a comfortable pair of yoga pants to keep you going for a long day. Maybe a sentimental sweater gives you comfort. Perhaps a favorite top will boost your confidence, she added.
What matters is knowing that what you wear “gives us an opportunity to be very intentional about how we want to step into the day,” she said. “There could be a lot of intention about ‘How do I really want to show up for myself and in the world today.’”
Change your behavior first. Feelings will follow
Don’t wait to feel better to start doing the things you want to do, Greenberg said.
“People tend to think that first you change your attitude, then the behavior changes,” she said. “It doesn’t actually work like that. It works in the opposite direction. First you change your behavior, and then you feel better.”
Putting on shoes won’t bring light to every emotional place, and if you are battling depression, you may need to see a mental health professional.
But if you are just feeling a little overwhelmed or in a rut and think you will eventually go to the gym once you feel better, you may need to switch your thinking around, Greenberg said.
“If you actually kind of make yourself push through and you get to the gym, then you’ll feel better,” she added.
Small behavioral changes such as waking up and putting on the clothes and shoes that you need to do the activities you want to do has another benefit: They remove obstacles to do really helpful things, such as exercise and socialization.
Social support helps you get out of your head, connect with others and release feel-good hormones called endorphins, Greenberg said. Not only does exercise help with mood through endorphins, but it also gets you out of your home and reduces isolation, she added.
“When people have good social support and safe friends and people exercise, mood improves,” Greenberg said.