Miguna Miguna, the self-styled revolutionary general, has announced his return home this coming week.
The last time he left the country, it was not the best advertisement for Brand Kenya — and there is hope that those friendly ad boards at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport marketing Kenya as a homely destination will not hide their faces in embarrassment a second time.
One year and 10 months is a long time for the government to settle a citizenship row.
If it took the government less than one hour to locate a fleeing Mike Sonko on the Nairobi-Mombasa highway, it surely should take faster than a blink to ascertain whether Miguna Miguna was born in Kenya or in Mars.
Mr Miguna has not stolen the government’s goat, and should not have been harassed like a cattle rustler two years ago.
There are many reasons why we buy guns for our police, but pointing them at innocent civilians is not one of them.
Had the Inspector-General of Police informed us that we had idle officers who needed something constructive to do, we would have asked that they volunteer their free time to helping their colleagues chase after drunk drivers on Nairobi roads.
The next time the police acquiesce to getting into an action drama movie involving unarmed civilians, they should ensure that they play the good cop because we don’t want our children to be introduced to the bad manners of our police service early in their lives, since Kenyan prime time news is yet to be PG-rated.
We have good officers working tirelessly to bring honour and pride to our nation, putting their lives on the line to ensure we snore at night in open spaces.
Hopefully, the police will not spoil this smiley face by holding Mr Miguna inside a suffocating cubicle not even fit for a pigeon, like they did last time.
If Miguna Miguna’s noisy entry is what the government is keen to avoid, then this should serve as a timely reminder that there exists a government agency mandated to deal with noise pollution, and the last time we checked it was the National Environment Management Authority (Nema).
Kenyans have not heard Nema complaining that they are overwhelmed by their duty, neither has Mr Miguna called the Nema Director General and his deputy “the despotic duo”.
Kenyans are aware that the government is broke, and financial experts have advised us to tighten our belts this New Year.
But if lack of money to print one new ordinary passport is what will derail the smooth return of Mr Miguna, then the government should open a paybill number for Kenyans to help them prevent the embarrassment among our circle of international friends.
The Constitution mandates the government to treat every Kenyan with dignity and respect, and if it has a problem doing so they should submit their recommendations to the BBI Task Force for the matter to be subjected to a public vote.
Miguna Miguna is a Kenyan citizen by birth, and even if he were to seek spiritual salvation he cannot be born again in another country.
The government should give the man his Kenyan papers; there is no use forcing him to rely on stationery shops in Canada every time he wants to write his legal submissions.
Furthermore, we have punitive Chinese loans to repay, and the government should appreciate if one more Kenyan is willing to return to the country voluntarily to help us spread the risk.
If our police are idle as to be sent again to watch over one person stepping back to his country of origin, then they should review the National Police Service motto to “Utumishi Kwa Macho”.
The JKIA already has more cameras than the number of As in the result slip of this year’s best KCSE student; we do not need extra eyes to watch Mr Miguna’s bag from being stolen at the baggage belt.
It is now almost two years since Mr Miguna was evicted from his motherland, and since then the nation is yet to move on from this issue.
There are more important topics that should justify a two-year non-stop discussion – like how to fight climate change, when President Uhuru Kenyatta will share the Standard Gauge Railway contract, where was Dedan Kimathi buried, why Amani National Congress chose green as their party colour instead of white, and who ate Oscar Sudi’s academic certificates.
As we usher in the New Year, we hope the government will start appreciating those who tell them the bitter truth, because they are the only ones who really care for the health of this country.
The government loves those who sugar-coat the truth, and still wonders why we are grappling with lifestyle diseases that come with excess sugar consumption.
The Kenyan economy is already sick from excessive borrowing; it would be foolhardy to send it to its death bed by giving it diabetes.
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